The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, isn’t it?

God has a way of showing me different things. I just need to be open enough to catch it.  

Recently on our way to church, I saw a cow poking its head through the barbed wire fence, stretching to eat the greener grass on the other side of the fence. 

That cow was determined that the grass just over the barbed wire fence was much better than the grass on his side of the fence. He was so convinced that he was willing to take a risk to get to that greener grass. He was willing to even face bodily harm and discomfort to get to the greener grass.

The Other Side of the Fence

The question floated through my mind; isn’t that what we do? We see something just on the other side of the fence and we assume that it is better than what we have. It could be a job, a house, a car, a spouse… well I think you get the picture.  

Looking at my own life, I can see where this scenario has played out. The most impactful time was when my husband had an affair. It was a time that the temptation on the other side of the fence was overwhelmingly desirable to him. We had been married for 30 years when someone new stood on the other side of the fence, offering something new and different. Greener grass.

 It’s amazing how the mind can look at situations with a colored lens – and distort the view. What was once clear becomes hazed and unclear.  I heard my husband saying things like: “I’m not sure we have anything in common anymore. You’re retired and I’m not. I just don’t miss you anymore when I’m gone”.  All this left me wondering how –  just four months before –  he could write, “Thank you for the last 30 years and I so look forward to the next 30 years.” What in the world happened? What changed?

Taking Care of OUR Grass

After becoming informed of the affair, it became clearer to me what had happened. While grazing on the grass on the other side of the fence, my husband had bought into the lie that the grass is greener. The truth of the matter is if we want greener, lusher, more fulfilling grass, we need to take care of our grass. It needs to be watered, fertilized, cut, and trimmed.

What does that mean in a marriage? It means we need to regularly take steps to continue to grow our marriage. Attend marriage seminars, read books, communicate – and learn better communication tools. Pray as a couple, and stay connected to God. We need to make sure our marriage is always healthy. Read the Bible. The Bible is our guide; use it!  

God’s Words

Here are just a few scriptures to help build a strong marriage:

• “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

• “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28

• “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9

• “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 9:9

• “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

• “Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3

• “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

• “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”1 Corinthians 10:13

• “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4

 It’s no different than our bodies.  We eat well, exercise and see a doctor when needed.  We need to think of our marriages the same